My Week With Joe

I ate Trader Joe's for seven days straight. Here are all my recipes and reviews:

This is a fun one, Dial Nation.

Now that I live alone in Upstate NY, cooking is a must; but most decent grocery stores are quite far away, meaning you gotta stock up on everything while you’re there. So I took the 37 minute drive to the closest Trader Joe’s right off the Taconic State Parkway and balled out of control. It’s teeny tiny (I’d say about 2/3 the size of the Williamsburg location) but not super crowded if you go early enough in the day. I spent $111.47. Here’s all my crap:

Clearly I was on a bit of a health kick, really leaning into turkey and cauliflower though I don’t usually care for either. After all, summer bodies are made in mid May with entirely processed and frozen ingredients.

Without further adieu, here’s what I ate last week in chronological order. Enjoy!

Ground Turkey

This was the first thing I made when I got home from TJ’s. I was craving meat. Plain meat! The first time in my life I browned meat was two weeks ago when I was making my famous turkey chili (I’ve cooked it twice and no one else has ever tried it) but I couldn’t stop thinking about the simplicity and the tastiness of ground meat. This is me letting you now I’ve completely entered the man-o-sphere.

Now that I’ve got a bit of a spice rack (six items) I went buck wild with it. Chili powder, cumin, basil, TJ’s Everyday Seasoning, and even a heaping spoonful of minced garlic were all added during the searing process. I would have loved some labneh and maybe paprika as a little addition afterwards, but I unfortunately didn’t have any. Anyways, it turned out great! Would absolutely replicate this again in the future.

Okay. Here’s where things enter a bit of a downward spiral. So, I’d made the entire pound of ground turkey and put half in the fridge. On the reheat I noticed the Soyaki sauce I bought for salmon and Asian inspired dishes, and thought, maybe just maybe, this is crazy enough to work. I did feel like a random skank making “teriyaki turkey” which, to my knowledge, no one on the face of this earth has ever attempted. For a good reason, as it’s completely skanky and random. I gotta say though- not that bad! Not that bad at all. Would I invite a friend over and make it for them? No. Is it good enough for me? Of course it is.

Breakfast Quiche

This was quite fabulous. I added a sprinkling of some Wegman’s cheddar cheese I had already and it was a nice way to start the day. Perfect portion; not too big or small. Threw it in my toaster oven/air fryer combo for ~15 mins. Next time I go to TJ’s I’m getting more than one of these!

Frozen Hash Browns

Everything at Trader Joe’s is either $2.39 or $2.89 it seems. Nothing was too much for me to avoid absolutely tossing into the cart, and I’m stingy and cheap as fuck when it comes to living costs. Anyways, these are basically free and you get 10 of them. I put the little Spongebob shaped potato patties right on the rack of my toaster oven and they come out perfectly every time. Two is the right amount to get me full without over eating. The package says “Bacon & eggs totally dig…” but sometimes I just want to start my day with (mostly) plain potato. To keep things interesting, sometimes I would add a bit of honey and the TJ’s crunchy chili flakes in oil. Pretty good! On simpler days, just salt, pepper, and the Everyday Seasoning would be enough. Maybe I’ll add a packet of ketchup from Wendy’s from the packet drawer on special occasions.

Turkey Burger